I love snow.

I love four seasons.

I need sunshine.

For those of you who read this blog and do not really know me, my childhood nickname was Sunshine.  It actually came from my Uncle Zell after he found me (about the age of 4) on the church bus making sunshine faces and taping them to every window in the bus (as I recall his telling of the story).  He started calling me Sunny Nelson and it morphed to Sunshine.  There are only two, maybe three people who call me Sunshine.  I like it that way.  It keeps it “special” for me.  I digress. 🙂

I also tend to suffer from what some call “winter depression” or a lack of natural Vitamin D.  If I go too long without sun, well I don’t know how much others can tell (and I don’t want to know….I feel guilty enough as it is), but I can tell…well frankly, I tend to feel/be a little crabby.  It makes me cringe just to write; I hate being crabby.

When you have a nickname like “Sunshine,” not to mention the ones that call me “Pollyanna” it becomes difficult sometimes to allow yourself to be crabby.  It feels like there is always an expectation hanging over me to be “up” all the time.  Plus, it doesn’t help when you really don’t like being crabby per se; it just seems to be one more thing to feel guilty about, all the way around.  It is difficult. 

So, I have spent a lot of time over the years getting to “know” myself better so that I can sense when the crabbiness is coming on and get to sunshine (i.e., Vitamin D).  One way is that I started utilizing tanning beds a lot during the winter, and before you judge it was based on a recommendation by my medical doctor.  Now before you cry foul at that, the recommendation was just 10 mins/day a few times a week.  I am here to tell you, ~ it helps. 

Another thing that works is taking a beach vacation in the middle of winter, preferably in late January or early February.  You are coming down off the high of the holidays,  your calendars and routine for the year is all set and in motion, and the most brutal part of the winter is setting in (i.e., cabin fever is at your doorstep).  Getting away combined with the beach equals mucho benefits.

Good ideas huh?

Slight problem…here I sit in winter storm number three since January 1st.  Further problem, my new 2011 calendar/routine has me spending more time away from the city, and I have yet to see tanning bed one anywhere near the hollow.  Now I am sure there is one somewhere fairly close (and by that I mean within 45 mins.).  Funny, I am going to reveal something here, it just hit me while I was writing that how much I have been craving (yes that is the right word) one because I remember now dreaming of opening a tanning salon close to the hollow for others with my “affliction”.  Can you imagine?  I cannot.  I would be laughed out of the area. 🙂 

My other problem is that even though I planned ahead ~ beach vacation in February ~ in mid-January plans got scrapped until August due to funding issues.  I have too many financial responsibilities right now that are pending, unsettled, looming, etc.  On one hand you have fulfilled a dream, and on the other hand you have walked precariously out on the financial ledge of more responsibility than a human should bear.  At least this human.  I am committed to simplifying my financial responsibilities by summer (fingers crossed) so as to bring some precious relief to my mind, spirit, and most definitely my pocketbook.  Sorry, another digression.

So last night when I started getting the creepy crawlies, and no this isn’t a new FB term, I had my first sign.  It is in my legs, and I rarely ever get them.  I know others who have this ailment so this will not be foreign to all, but it is difficult to describe.  In a nutshell, it is when your legs feel like spiders or something of that nature, are crawling up and down the length of them.  It is completely unnerving.  It wasn’t until this morning that I acknowledged, “Houston, we have a problem.”  Just imagine one of those giant red lights flashing around with a huge fog horn blaring, and you might know what was going off in my head when I awoke at 6 a.m. this morning.

So what am I going to do about this??  Well, for starters I am writing about it, and I have to say I am having a few a-ha moments just writing it out.  Second, I am going to see what the cheapest flights are to a beach in the continental U.S.  Surely there is somewhere warm, and fairly close, that I can go for a short four day weekend.  Right??

As you can probably tell by now, after a few of these blog posts, I am a big believer in knowing yourself and taking action.  I have empathy, but not a lot of tolerance, for people who bemoan their genes and/or  lot in life refusing to even TRY to do anything about it.  Frankly, at my age, I have had a lot of practice and success with figuring out my own personality flaws and quirks.  Like everyone else though, I am still working to use that knowledge to improve upon them, and that is a daily battle because frankly our DNA is what it is.  That makes me think of something we are studying in Sunday School ~ Cain and Abel ~ were they simply born different, one for bad and one for good?  Really?  I don’t know the answer because the Bible doesn’t say that and we are left to speculate (we are, and  it has resulted in some interesting debates at church).  What we do know is that God “coached” Cain to do better.  Cain obviously did not like that advice, got even more upset, and killed his brother.   Isn’t that what we do all the time?  Not the murder part, of course, but we ask (or don’t ask as the case might be) for advice, we get good advice, and then we ignore it.  Lesson…not learned.  Note from God ~ The devil is always at your doorstop, and it is up to you/us to do whatever is within our power to overcome.  On that note, I am going to stop whining, and go do something about my creepy crawlies.

I am so glad that I have options.  I can DO something about my situation, and I am betting ~ YOU can too!  Be glad.  Celebrate that!  Because you know what??  There are SO many that truly cannot, or the road they have to travel is far more challenging than ANYTHING you or I have had to endure.

That brings up another “glad” point.  If possible, be a “game changer” in someone’s life today, and I promise you that it will result in a “game changer” in yours.

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! 🙂